Reversed Roles

I really do not like watching my parents struggle through the end of their lives. First they were just getting a little older. Then it seems like the very next time I saw them…they were old!

This past year, my parents moved from a beautiful lakeside home to a home where they receive care. My mother has advanced dementia and my dad has congestive heart failure. They had lived together in this nursing home for quite a while until my mom needed special nursing help, so now they sleep in separate rooms. This was hard for my mom and extremely hard for my dad. They have been married for 68 years.

In every season of our lives, we have to readjust to a new normal. Every time we move, have another child, get a new job, or take on another responsibility, things change. Sometimes we just go with the flow and other times we go fighting. I think I’m in the latter category right now. Who wants to see their parents reaching for life’s finish line?

Going from being your parents’ child to your parents’ parent is not an easy job. The transition is painful to watch and sometimes just plain hard to do. I don’t like seeing my mom struggling to remember who I am. I cry every time I leave that place and wonder what else I can do for her.

My dad has gone from a strapping 6’2” man to a shriveled, skinny, old guy who can hardly walk 10 feet without getting out of breath. I have had to do some things with my parents that I never expected I would have to do, but I do so out of love and care for them.

I want to be obedient to God’s teaching and honor my parents (Matthew 15:4). They worked hard to support me in everything I did when I was a child and I want to do the same for them. My prayer is that God would grant me peace in this role reversal stage and love them through God’s eyes. His view of their life is so amazing!

Are You Willing?

I have traveled around the world to many different countries. I’ve tasted foods that were more than questionable, stood in mud huts made of cow dung, and been the guest of honor at a feast. I’ve cradled dying babies, loved on kids who were HIV positive, and hugged the homeless and abused. I’ve tackled college and a master’s degree all after age 38. I’ve owned two businesses, helped start a business, and directed another. I’ve been the board president, a teacher, adjunct professor, and all while joyfully serving as a wife and mother.

How could one person be allowed to experience all these amazing things? There have been times I’ve questioned why I’ve been so privileged when others just dream of it all. Is it because I deserve it? No. Is it because I’ve worked harder or sacrificed longer? No. Then why?

I only have one answer. I’ve been willing to step up to the challenges, no matter what.

I don’t remember ever being afraid of something and saying, “No…I can’t do that.”

While teaching at a local Christian university, I asked the missions team director if we could take students to Romania to help in a government-run hospital charged with carrying for abandoned babies. I’d never done anything like that before. I didn’t know the country’s currency, where we would stay, or what the travel arrangements would be like for a team. I’d never even led a team! So why in the world would I attempt such a thing?

Some people said I was crazy. Others said it would be too difficult and they would never try it. Maybe that’s what made me do it. Most importantly, God said GO!

Sixteen trips later, at least 106 lives changed for eternity, and I have no doubt why I did any of it. Being willing opens doors to a whole new realm. It increases your Christian worldview. It opens your eyes to the fact that God is over there too, not just here in America. You become a person who accepts people for who they are, where they are, what they are. You become less critical and more positive. You grow spiritually! You rely upon God for everything big and small. Your prayer life is opened up to so many more people and their life situations that it takes you out of your bubble.

I wish I could take you all on a trip. I pray that you would be willing to step out of your comfort zone and take the challenge of visiting a mission field or a country that needs your gifts and talents. Or even step out of your own back door and be challenged to do as he commands – ‘Be My witnesses!’ God would provide the courage…if you’re willing.

Of No Value

I have many friends who write blogs and I'm always intrigued by their points of view.  I'm copying one of their blogs for you to read. It's so insightful concerning the 'worth' of a person. Take some time and read it through. If it's not for you, then possibly you're meant to read it so you can help someone else.

Of No Value by Edwina Patterson from Redeeming the Time

During the break at the conference, I stood and hugged and prayed with women while autographing their books. In the midst of the crowd and noise, I heard a voice quietly say, "I'm of no value!" To my ears, it sounded like she had used a microphone.

I quickly turned around and asked, "Who said that?" Puzzled, the women looked at each other not having heard what I heard.

Again I asked, "Who said ‘I'm of no value.'?" Finally I heard a soft voice say, "I did...because I am of no value."

Promising to return, I excused myself from the crowd of women and asked Julie (not her real name) to come aside with me for a moment. The ravages of life—reared in an abusive home, now in a difficult marriage, no high school education, no present job, and pregnant—this precious young woman sincerely believed she held no value to anyone. Her eyes told me how discouraged/depressed she was. She had come to the Redeeming the Time conference by herself and admitted that she stood at the door a long time before she had the courage to come in.

I wrapped my arms around her and held her for several minutes. After a while I began to whisper a prayer for her and I felt her body begin to relax. When I finished praying, I asked her to get her things and sit beside me when I wasn't speaking. She hesitated, but finally agreed to join me.

As I began to speak in the next session, I found God directing the message to include the value each of us has in God's eyes. I stressed that the Lord purposefully created each one of us to be the unique individuals that we are. And in spite of what we may have been raised to believe, the worth we have in God's eyes is not determined by our looks, car we drive, home we live in, job that we have, church we attend or how much we donate to charities. God looks past all those things and looks at our hearts. He wants to know if we love Him.

Can you believe it! God wants to know if we love Him. Why? Because He's already proved His love for us! He loves us so much He sent His only Son to be our ransom for sin...to die on the cross for the sin of the world. And it wasn't an easy death. Jesus was unrecognizable because of the beatings from the Jewish and the Roman guards. Blood ran down His forehead from the thorns in the rough crown the soldiers placed on His head. As they nailed the Son of God to the cross, they mocked and ridiculed Jesus. And the blood from the spikes in His hands and feet dropped on the ground.

He could have called on a legion of angels to free Him. He could have easily climbed down from the cross Himself, but He hung there because of His love for us.

Love like that is amazing.

It's incomprehensible. It's unthinkable. It's indescribable. God values us so much that He sent His only Son to die for us. That's proof enough for me!

But what about today and the people of today. Are they of value to God? God hasn't changed His love for us! Jesus loves us so much He is willing to love us even though we don't deserve it, even when we don't love Him back, even when we ignore Him. Jesus is able to see all our flaws and imperfections—all our mistakes and regrets—and still chooses to love us...in spite of ourselves.

How valuable are you to God? If you were the only person on earth, Jesus loves you so much that He stretched out His arms on the cross and died just for you. That should be proof enough for you!

Don't let the world or your circumstances rob you of the confidence—the deep-down in your heart knowledge—that God loves you and values an intimate relationship with you. No matter where you are right now, regardless of what is going on in your life, you are valuable to Him! Focus on that!

The way you respond to God's love will be evidenced by the life you live. Maybe the question should be, "How much do you value God's love?" Enough to meet with Him each morning in prayer? Enough to be obedient to do what He whispers in your ear? Enough to share His love with others? Mmmmm, just how much do you value God's love?