Childhood Friends,

Somewhere between grade school and high school, kids develop very independent spirits. They want to choose their own clothes, their own mode of transportation, and especially their own friends. They seek out the crowd where they’re most comfortable and grow along with them. I think this is a normal, natural, healthy progression of events in a child’s life.

As parents, we want our kids to have healthy relationships with others. We desire in our deepest parts to have them live normal lives (or as close to normal as possible). When they begin choosing friends, we want to know who those kids are, what they act like, and what kind of influences they will bring into our children’s lives. We often want to know and meet their parents, too, all under the umbrella of protecting our children.

So what do you do when your children make unwise choices in selecting friends? What if in, let’s say, sixth grade your sweet little girl comes home with a bedraggled, foul-mouthed friend who can’t put being nice together even if it was wrapped in a peanut butter and jelly sandwich? Do you tell your daughter to find other friends who are more like her? Do you question your precious princess about what she sees in this girl? Start preaching?

I know your daughter would never do this, right? Don’t be so sure. Our perfect little children do grow up to be individuals who make their own choices. We’ve brought them up that way, remember? Always saying, “You’re a big girl now you can do this” or “Be a big boy and learn to do this by yourself.” So now they’ve done that and we’re in a panic!

I’ve had four kids with four different personality types. They’ve all chosen ways of life and friendships on their own. They were always independent! So my prayers for them have been for wisdom in choosing friends and lasting relationships—basically for living their lives. I pray that they will know those verses from their childhood that say, “Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.” I pray they don’t want to have friends that are of the world so I pray for Christian friends and life mates that will honor God and will complement them. I pray for continued relationships with their heavenly Father who loves them more than I ever could. All I can do at this point is pray.

Back to your daughter with the unkind friend. Did you ever notice that kids can see more than adults sometimes? Often, a friend like hers needs to know what love truly is and she sees it in your child. You’ve nurtured your daughter, helped her grow spiritually, and been the best example of God’s love to her as possible. Now she’s choosing to show that love to someone else. So don’t shut the foul-mouthed little one out too soon! She may be searching for a friend just like your daughter, who is exuding Christ from every pore in her body!

Making a Decision with Wisdom

Recently, there was an opportunity to make a pretty big decision for CBH Ministries. It dealt with standing on principle (what our organization is known for) or simply completing the project because it was expected of us.

I chose not to make the decision from the top, but to allow those involved in the project to come to a conclusion as a group. That’s a hard thing for me to do as the leader, but I was more interested in seeing what would happen as a result of their choice, not mine.

As in most corporate organizations, the leader is expected to make decisions for the company or ministry. The thing that impresses me more is to find out if the administrative workers know me so well they could make the choice that I would have made anyway. If that happens, then I know I’ve done my leadership job well. If it doesn’t happen, then I still have much work to do.

Leaders are known for what they stand for, not for what they don’t stand for. Standing up for what is right in the eyes of God, being a person of integrity, and being compassionate toward others are parts of my character I pray people see. Knowing those traits and bringing them to the forefront of leadership happens in the decision-making process. How I choose to handle certain situations and in what manner I handle them will be the true test of my Christian character.

I’m waiting in my office right now for those folks to tell me their decision. Will this go as I hope it will? Is there another viewpoint I need to see? Ah…here they come!

YES! It’s just like I’d hoped. They made the right decision but came to the conclusion from their own point of view. Now that’s what I’m looking for.

Do you have decisions you need to make? Are your decisions made according to life principles that are not negotiable? Pray that the LORD will make you wise in your decision-making. If you are a leader, pray that those in your care are learning—not just your ways—but the ways that are right in the eyes of the Lord. Above all else, pray that you will continue searching for wisdom in all your decisions in life. Psalm 51:6 says it best: “Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts (where no one but God sees) and in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom.”

Pruning? Again?

My grandma used to own a cherry orchard. The sour cherry trees were in the field behind her house, but the sweet cherries were right up next to the house within easy access. I remember sitting in the trees filling myself full of that dark, sweet fruit when it first became ripe in the early summer. I loved cherry everything and you could tell by the deep red stains on my shirts!

Every spring the workers would prune the branches and leave mounds of limbs to cover the ground beneath each tree. It seemed like such a waste but the pruning actually helped the tree to bear more fruit by concentrating the energy from the tree trunk to fewer limbs and producing bigger cherries.

Scripture tells us that pruning needs to happen in our lives, too. In John 15 Jesus speaks of taking away the dead branches that do not bear fruit and pruning the good ones so they will bear more. That sounds just like my grandma’s orchard! Here in these verses Jesus is speaking about our lives as believers. Are we producing the optimal fruit for Christ or are we allowing parts of our lives to be lacking in fervor for Him?

Let me ask you this question: If you could take away three things from your responsibility list right now—any three things—would they be truly missed or are they really just making your life too busy to spend time with Jesus? Being busy is a real catch phrase today. It’s used as an excuse for everything from not attending church to not helping out in your community. Jesus would call some of your busyness dead branches. Take a moment to think about that and I’m sure you’ll see what He means.

Don’t make being busy an excuse for not being in the Word of God either. Reading it, thinking about it, applying His Word to your life are the most important things you can do every single day. Don’t make it just another thing to check off your list of things to do today. Being with God should never come last or take second place in your life. It should always be first on your list!

So if God asks you to take away the dead branches and prune the ones that bear fruit, let Him do His perfect work in you. It can only lead to a vibrant, alive believer who bears MUCH fruit!

Break Out of Your Rut!

I have always been a child at heart. I love to think like a child and wonder how “older” people would react if I actually did what I was thinking! Oh, heavens!

I’m sixty-two years old and I often wonder what it would be like to do crazy things at my age. Like learn how to skateboard and ride the rails! Or bungee jump. YES! What about drive a really fast race car in the Indy 500? Then I could always surf the “big one” in Hawaii! Yeah, there ya go. Dude, that sounds gnarly! Am I crazy or what? No, don’t answer that.

I guess I’m just one of those people who has done a lot of things in life but still wants to do more. Are you like that? Or are you…old? Have you settled into life like a well-worn recliner? Do you give old answers when people ask you questions? What do I mean? Well, if I were to ask you, “Hey, would you like to go on an impromptu vacation?” would you answer by saying that you have to have a plan and map and schedule of where I’m going and you have to know five weeks ahead of time and it takes you forever to pack? That’s an old answer. I’d rather hear something like, “Yeah, where are you going? Let’s do this thing!” Maybe I’m too impulsive for you or maybe you’ve just lost the impulsiveness of childhood to take a chance on doing the unplanned.

I think the best vacations our family ever took were the ones we didn’t plan. We just threw stuff in the camper and took off. We didn’t make reservations or plan out a road trip map or contact a travel agent. We let the open road be our guide and just made the most of it. I loved that part!

Our lives can become too planned if we’re not careful. Every day becomes like the last one and we can grow into a routine that’s so boring even our phone apps are sleeping! I can’t believe that’s God’s plan for us. He’s created a world to explore and people for us to meet. We can become so steeped in our daily patterns that it’s hard to break away. I think that’s one of Satan’s ploys to make us content, comfortable, and c-o-m-p-l-a-c-e-n-t! Boring!

So try this on your next free weekend. Starting with Friday night, don’t make a plan—just throw a few clothes in your overnight bag, grab your camera, your family or a friend, and take off! No, really! Take off in some direction that’s new. Don’t take the expressway either. Travel on a road you’ve never been on. Don’t use your GPS or check Mapquest. Just go! Spend the night in a bed and breakfast or some out of the way place. Grab the tent and spend the night in a state park. Do something new, adventurous, different. You’ll be amazed by how it adds a spark you may not have felt in a while. You’ll also be surprised by how much you look forward to the next unplanned weekend!

Oh, don’t write to me complaining you have a bad experience either. That’s just part of the adventure!

Does the Boogie Man Rule in Your House? (part 3)

The last part of Paul’s reminder to Timothy says that God has not given us a spirit of fear but of sound mind or self-control. In Greek these words mean that you’re of sober mind, prudent, or that you use discretion. How does that apply to you today, right now?

It means that you are not easily swayed to believe in opposition to what God wants for us. You are able to stay focused on how to dispel fear with God’s power and love because your mind is geared to follow His leading. This played out for Timothy when he was able to stand his ground and be unafraid to preach the truth of the Gospels to churches. He lacked the fear Satan tried to instill in him. This was a great accomplishment for Timothy because it helped him to stand after Paul was martyred for his faith.

Let me apply this to life today. Do we have the stamina to stand like Timothy did? Are we able to look forward to the future with a positive attitude because of God’s power working in and through us? Can we love like God loves because we know Him intimately from His Word? Can we step out in faith toward new projects, ministries, and adventures for God and not be swayed by Satan’s attacks or how he makes us question our abilities?

Oh, that’s so powerful! I’m telling you that YOU have the POWER to do works for God that you never imagined. You can conquer your fear of ALL things through the power of the Holy Spirit that works and lives and breathes within you. On top of all of that, you can realize your full potential God has planned for you in conquering your fears. Oh, how HE wants that for you.

So don’t let fear steal your blessings. Give the Boogie Man the boot! Say, “See ya. Wouldn’t want to be ya!” Do whatever it takes for you to get him out of your life! I’m telling you that your life will take an immediate change from timidity to tall tales of adventures when you put God in charge. You’ll see things you never saw before. You’ll feel life like it’s brand new and you’ll realize what you’ve been missing all these years. Open the door of your heart to let God do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think! Get ready to be amazed!

Does the Boogie Man Rule in Your House? (part 2)

God’s ability to dispel the fear that Satan tries to implant is amazing. When you least expect it, God displays His love for us that covers fear like a large, warm quilt on a cold winter day.

A fear that may rule in your home is that of the unknown. Many people do not venture outside the walls of their home to accomplish God’s purpose for their lives because of the fear that they will not be able to handle the things they do not understand or like or even know about. Opportunities come and go to be on church evangelist outreaches, participate in mission’s trips, or help others in some way. These chances are quickly pushed away because of the fear of the unknown. We tell ourselves, “They certainly don’t need me,” “I have nothing they could use on this trip,” and various other excuses we contrive.

It’s been my experience that you can conquer the fear of the unknown with love. That’s right, love. It’s a strange concept but Paul tells us otherwise.

This kind of love is shown when you can comfort a distraught person who has lost their home and everything dear to them in a flood or tornado. When you can help rebuild their house and make it into a home again. It’s the type of love that you give when you hold a child who has no parents and longs for a hug, a smile, and some compassion. It’s putting your arm around a widowed mother who is left to raise her children alone. These types of love can only come from a holy God and be shown through you giving it out to those around you. You become the conduit of an Almighty God. You, being used in ways you never thought of and couldn’t even imagine. You, receiving the blessings of a lifetime through these experiences of using love to conquer fear.

God’s love can easily help us overcome fear because we are directing our love at someone else. We’re not centered on what we’re afraid of, but instead we’re focused on using the power of His love to take us out of our comfort zone into the ministry zone. So as we look further into what we’re afraid of in part 3, don’t be surprised to find that the end of your fears leads to working in the field which leads to amazing blessings!

Does the Boogie Man Rule in Your House? (part 1)

When I was a child I truly believed the Boogie Man lived in the chimney of our coal furnace. He made rumbling, scary noises every night when I tried to sleep. I was sure he climbed up the outside of that chimney and looked into our second story bedroom window at night. I could just feel it! I get goose bumps just thinking of how scared of him I used to be!

That’s all childish imagination gone wild. What scares you now? What provokes a fear in your heart that is hard to relinquish?

I used to be afraid of many things, but as my faith grew, that fear diminished and is now gone completely. In the book of II Timothy, Paul reminds his dear protégé that “God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” (II Timothy 1:7, NKJV) That power is evident as we implement it into our work situations, our church responsibilities, and our families. Let’s explore that verse a little deeper.

I’ve often heard people say that they could never be a public speaker because of their fear of crowds. Just what are they afraid of? That the crowd will throw tomatoes? That they will walk out or that they will rise up in protest? Our fears are so ridiculous sometimes. Satan is such a provoker of fear and the unknown. He puts barriers up that prevent us from taking steps of faith. Instead, we end up missing opportunities for God to work in us and through us to reach others for His glory!

The power that Paul speaks of in II Timothy is the Holy Spirit. He is there with us at that speaker’s podium or at the head of that Sunday school class filled with eager students. He is present in our hearts, souls, and minds to work His wonder with our words. I’ve often left a speaking opportunity wondering just what I could have said that made any impact at all! That’s Satan using his power to make me feel incapable. Later, as I’ve talked with people, shook their hands, and listened, I’ve heard different words spoken into my heart, words of hope and help that were spoken through me to their hearts and souls. They were words that only God could have put there and used in His mighty way. Sometimes when I speak I say things that I’m not even aware of where they came from because they certainly were not in my speech or presentation. That’s truly a God-thing.

(Watch for parts 2 and 3)