Reversed Roles

I really do not like watching my parents struggle through the end of their lives. First they were just getting a little older. Then it seems like the very next time I saw them…they were old!

This past year, my parents moved from a beautiful lakeside home to a home where they receive care. My mother has advanced dementia and my dad has congestive heart failure. They had lived together in this nursing home for quite a while until my mom needed special nursing help, so now they sleep in separate rooms. This was hard for my mom and extremely hard for my dad. They have been married for 68 years.

In every season of our lives, we have to readjust to a new normal. Every time we move, have another child, get a new job, or take on another responsibility, things change. Sometimes we just go with the flow and other times we go fighting. I think I’m in the latter category right now. Who wants to see their parents reaching for life’s finish line?

Going from being your parents’ child to your parents’ parent is not an easy job. The transition is painful to watch and sometimes just plain hard to do. I don’t like seeing my mom struggling to remember who I am. I cry every time I leave that place and wonder what else I can do for her.

My dad has gone from a strapping 6’2” man to a shriveled, skinny, old guy who can hardly walk 10 feet without getting out of breath. I have had to do some things with my parents that I never expected I would have to do, but I do so out of love and care for them.

I want to be obedient to God’s teaching and honor my parents (Matthew 15:4). They worked hard to support me in everything I did when I was a child and I want to do the same for them. My prayer is that God would grant me peace in this role reversal stage and love them through God’s eyes. His view of their life is so amazing!