Proverbs Piece #6 – Listen to Your Father

“Listen to your father who begot you, and do not despise your mother when she is old.” Proverbs 23:22

Little girls have a “thing” for their dads. I don’t know what it is, but it’s something special that involves a unique connection.

As a little girl, I remember looking up at my dad and thinking he was the most handsome man I had ever seen. He had dark black hair and a big smile. His eyes were brownish and always twinkled. I knew when he spoke to me it was out of concern and care, and his reprimands meant business. I loved him dearly and still do. My daughter experienced the same thing with her dad, my husband Tom.

Now that my Dad is very old and feeble, my respect for my father remains. I listen to him and still hear that same care and concern in his voice. I have that same respect for my mother, although she’s not the same person she used to be. She has dementia. When she makes a crass comment to me, I know it’s not because she means it, it’s because she’s very sick and this illness is taking her away from us at a rapid pace.

As our parents age, they often lose touch with reality. They don’t care to learn new things; they enjoy the old things they know and are familiar with. They reflect on what’s happened in their lives and sometimes retreat to that place in their minds to rest for a while. They become easily confused and disoriented with the onset of certain illnesses which can bring on agitation. As the caregivers, we need to realize that inside that crippled arthritic body lies years of experience, knowledge, and many adventures. Treating them with little respect is like saying they don’t matter anymore.

If the last thing I can do for my parents is be respectful, then I will be. If it means I take some verbal abuse from a dementia patient, then I will. God tells us to “not despise our mother when she is old”; even though it’s hard sometimes, I’m working at it daily. Do you know why? Because I know that I could be there some day and would like people to treat me with respect. I’d want them to think of me as a real person, not just some body that can’t participate in society anymore.

God’s command to listen and respect our parents should not be taken lightly. Remember, someday…that could be you!