Are you engaging or disengaging?

I’ve caught myself in this predicament one too many times. Sitting across the table from a good friend having a wonderful dinner and they’re talking in a soft, familiar voice. I don’t understand how it happens but from out of nowhere…I completely zone out! I totally disengage and put a white noise space between myself and them. The curtain comes down, the next act starts and I’m off in another world solving a problem at work or running errands or who knows what! There is no way in this world I can tell you what the person across from me has just said over the past few minutes…or more! I really don’t like it when that happens and I'm upset when people do it to me.

Where is that world we go to when we zone out? Why can’t we be better listeners? Are we so caught up in the busyness of our own lives that others become insignificant? I surely hope not.

To find out about a good listener I’ve gone to the Scriptures, Psalms specifically. Can you imagine what David’s prayers would have sounded like if God had not listened? This is what Psalm 61 would have said: “Well, I cried to God and he never, ever heard me. He never answered my prayers when I cried from the end of the earth and my heart was overwhelmed. Why should I go to the rock if He never hears?” Now, there would be a discouraging Scripture! But what David thought was not what the Scriptures say. The Bible says God heard David’s prayers because He was listening! He wasn’t listening a little, not partially, not preoccupied, but listening to David’s every word. That’s my example for what I need to do.

I’ve come to realize that to be a good listener I have to totally involve myself with whomever is talking to me. If I really want to be known as a good listener I have to engage in their life to the point of undivided attention. Then, and only then, can I be given the right to reply or comment or help them in any way. My opinion lacks commitment or credence if I am not involved in the listening part of their story. I’m up for the challenge.

So how about you? Isn’t it about time you engaged yourself fully as a listener?