Oh, how I wish parenting had come with a manuscript of what
was going to happen. I have wanted to know the ending of this play ever since
it began!
I didn’t know anything about raising a baby when I had my
first child. I had never babysat once when going through high school. I got married
just after graduation, turned 18, and 17 months later gave birth to my first
child. Good grief! I was still a child myself!
I was scared to death to take my son home because I had never bathed
a baby or taken a child’s temperature. I’m surprised they let me take him out
of the hospital! Little did I know that soon he would projectile vomit on me and
poop on every piece of clothing, including my entire lap
.
Thankfully, my wonderful mother-in-law started
teaching me the basics. She had raised five children and had been through just
about everything you could think of with babies. I was so extremely thankful
for her!
But no one told me children were emotional time bombs and had
spiritual needs.
Raising children is not a piece of cake, as my husband used
to say. It’s hard and fun at the same time! When they’re young it’s just plain scary. But when they
become teenagers it’s another story. Who is this person and where did they come
from? That question was on the tip of my tongue a thousand times at the end of a
school day.
My husband and I were fortunate to have four children, each
different in every way. Three boys and then a girl. How that little girl made
it through life with three older brothers I will never know!
Now that my children are all grown with families of their
own, I get the joy of being a grandparent. This job is much, much easier and
more enjoyable than being a parent.
I’ve learned that there is no changing an adult child’s mind
and that I should keep my mouth shut more often than give my opinions. I’ve
found out that my kids are all as different today as they were as children and
that their children are following in their footsteps! I laugh to myself when I
see a child acting just like their parent. (Secretly, I think they deserve
everything they get, but I’d never tell them that.)
Parenting was fun, ever-changing, and challenging. Grand-parenting
is so enjoyable because they all live in their own homes! Seriously, I
willingly took the parenting job because I love kids. I loved seeing my own
grow up and develop the abilities and talents God gave them. And today, I’m
proud to say I’m their parent. Although I must admit when they were teenagers and
people would ask me if I was so-and-so’s parent I would reply, “Why? What did
they do now?”
God has taught me many lessons along the way as a parent and now as a grandparent. The most important one is to give of myself whenever I’m
needed. I only have one shot at being a parent and what I do with it is up to
me with God’s help. I have to be willing to ask for help and that’s where my
mentors came into play. I had people I could go to and ask questions, seek
advice, and just vent to about my struggles. They were the most supportive
people and I really needed them at that time. So, today Iwant to be just like that for some other young parent.
God also is teaching me how important it is to be a grandparent
that is available. Working full-time for a few more years doesn’t allow me to
make it to every activity at school and church, but I try. I’ve found that
buying hoards of Christmas presents is not the answer either. It’s more
important to give smaller, more meaningful gifts that are from me, not just a
store.
I certainly wasn’t a perfect parent and I’m sure you aren’t
either. But with God’s help, prayers of friends, and a good set of mentors, I’m
sure you can make it through. Then turn around and help someone else! There
will be an end to this play someday and I hope the last line of mine reads: She cared.
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